I was 13 years old heading to the 8th grade, when I decided to lose God's most precious gift given to me-my virginity.
It was my last two weeks living in Fort Wayne, IN. I was moving to North Carolina, and I spent the last two weeks with my best friend. I was free from my regular lifestyle, and I did whatever I wanted to do. I wore clothes that I wasn't able to wear at home, I stole from stores, and I totally acted out of character. When the flesh takes over, everything else that isn't right appears right. Galatians 5:17 (NIV) For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want.
So, our little hangout spot was the library. We walked there to get out of the house almost every day and there I met "him". I had seen him before and didn't remember but he became by dude before I left. It was the last week before I moved and I felt like I was so in love, and didn't know what true love was. So, we hugged, rubbed, kissed, and did everything that was so inappropriate. I had only known him for two days when the question ''are you a virgin?" came up. *QUICK PAUSE* I was so angry at my parents for moving me away I was so rebellious. I did not care what I did in those last weeks, and so I wanted to get back at them and hurt them. (If I knew back then what I know now, I would erase it all.)
So, we were in the nail salon waiting for our friend to get done getting her nails done, and I asked her what she thought of him taking my virginity and me taking his. "I think you should do it May May, you love him, he loves you, and y'all both virgins." How did she know what love was in two days full of lust? So, we walked over to the coffee shop, and we sat, and waited and there it was time. He went in the rest room first, and I followed 5 minutes later. I dreamed of my first time being with my husband, and as a young child I told myself that I would remain a virgin until marriage, and that didn't' happen. It was supposed to be romantic, and the RIGHT way...Mine was COMPLETELY opposite. I walked in, got on the floor...and 5 minutes later, IT was gone.
This still bothers me from time to time, but God forgives and He loves me!
2 Corinthians 5:17 - Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! This scripture gives me hope because my past is gone. March 13, 2012 I was made pure again, and although physically I am not a virgin, spiritually I am, and my husband will be my first since my new life. This walk is not easy, and trust me I have my moments where I want to give it all of way. I have had my times where I've gone too far with lust, but God kept me!! So, why did I share this? I shared because we heal from sharing our stories. There may be someone out there with a similar story or anything regretful situation, and I wanted to encourage you to FORGIVE YOURSELF! God has already forgiven you! I love you, and God loves you too!! BE ENCOURAGED & BE HEALED!